Landa's Haven ©

Landa's Haven is the special warm fuzzy page.  Here you will find "personal perspectives" written by this author as well as those by a few other writers.  You will also find other insights, and those might not necessarily be warm fuzzy per se.

This page will be regularly updated as and when inspiration tugs at the heart, and as and when I come across something special to share.

New articles and stories are generally added to the top of the list, but sometimes they aren't so be guided by the "latest" and "new" signs, and feel free to put your mouse over the blue title to go straight to the relevant story. 

Note: Unless otherwise stated, the articles, stories and personal perspectives written by this author have not been submitted for publication. 

Articles, stories and personal perspectives published online:

10. Spirit Crossing Org (Spirit 2000 sponsored newsletter & events calendar) - 2010
http://spiritcrossing.org
9. The New Age Blog - 2010 - http://thenewageblog.com
8. All4Women** - 2009, 2010 - http://all4women.co.za
7. No Limits For Me*** - 2009, 2010 - http://nolimitsforme.com and nolimitsforme blog
6. Oralin* - 2003, 2009 - http://oralin.com
5. MasterWorksHealing - 2009 - http://masterworkshealing.com/members/
4. Peter Shepherd/Trans4mind - 2007 - http://trans4mind.com/counterpoint/papakriakou.shtml
3. Zalome Bridge to the World - 2002, 2004, 2007 - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zalome_BRIDGE
2. Cappuccino & Success ezine - 2002 - http://capcess.com/ 
1. USA eZine News "Today's Power Motivational" - 2002 - bnbaker@srcaccess.net 

* In the following categories:  Improving the quality of your life; Hope & Inspiration; Share your Experience

** In the following categories: Relationship; Health

*** Most recently in the category of Conscious Awareness


Various articles featured on the following online publication:

Virginia Beach, Virginia - 2010 - http://virginia-beach-virginia.net

Earn Global Income.
Be sure to check out the international home based business mentioned below.

Be on the look out for a series of soon-to-be-made-available EBook GET-THIS

Work by this author (Beba Papakyriakou, aka BP):

A Testimony of Thriving - going beyond the Mosque ** NEW **

A testimony of thriving - "Spirit of Your Horse" Art by Beverli Rhodes 

The events that change our lives 

Eighteen years on 

What's a hero? 

Engineering cooperation

Volcanic ash - and seizing the moment

Do what's right - for you 

Valentine's Day 

How you've grown 

What's a plan with no conviction  (Updated)

Nanuk

Just when you thought it was safe .....  

Give, without expectation 

Slow Down

Releasing Negativity  (Updated)

Personal Perspective - The Power of a Positive Reading 

Message from my little girly Nanuk on her birthday

Tuesday 30 June 

Holding onto the Promise 

My precious girly Nanuk

State of love 

On this day 

Why make new year's resolutions 

Be bold   

Acknowledging 7/7 

Time, the Great Softener

Personal Perspective - One Fragment 

Life's Riches 

It's the Little Things 

Personal Perspective - Releasing Negativity 
  

Work of other writers :  

Ithaca (Kavafis) 

I am Fear (Author unknown)

Broken Dreams (Lauretta Burns)

Funeral Blues (W H Auden, 1936)

All I need to know about life I learned from my Guardian Angel (Author unknown)  

Reaching Out (Author unknown)

A Testimony of Thriving - going beyond the Mosque © ** NEW **

More than ever, it seems that we are being challenged to find greater means with which to heal ourselves as individuals and as communities. 

At the time of writing this version of "A Testimony of Thriving", I watched a news report on the proposed construction of a Mosque a few miles from Ground Zero in New York.  The debates have begun, with argument from various camps about why it would be acceptable to go ahead with this project, and other arguments and impassioned pleas about why it is not acceptable.

As a relative outsider, I have asked myself a few questions: Does a Mosque truly embody all that is evil in one select group of people whose values are different to the values of other people? At which point do we draw the line at freedom of choice and freedom of religious expression, and question what looks like a blatant lack of sensitivity and lack of regard for the deep scars that others have been left with?  Just because something is within the law, does it make it morally right?

In my view, just because something is within the law doesn't necessarily make it morally right.  I am also of the view that no individual should necessarily be considered a representation of a broader community or a broader view of life.  Similarly, no community should be expected to be solely responsible for the healing of individuals within that community. 

We all have power within us as individuals to find a way to heal ourselves.

As we approach the ninth anniversary of 911, the horrors of such an event might go unnoticed by countless people around the world. The same is true of other global events that are catastrophic, ugly, and devastating, whether it's a natural disaster like a tsunami that wrecks lives, or disasters that could have been prevented, perhaps, like the oil spill in the Gulf, or our propensity to be at war with others and promote the taking of life in order to preserve our own way of life and our commercial interests.

A global event, however devastating, might not touch us directly but when it does, it inevitably changes our lives. Some lives are broken beyond repair; others are shattered but are being glued back together one piece at a time. Either way, something changes and out of devastation and pain, we can also see the resilience of our spirit, and our love of life regardless of what has been taken from us.

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon an inspiring newsworthy event about Beverli Rhodes, one of the survivors of another devastating global event, the 7/7 Bombings. Her life was one of the ones that was badly affected by the violent actions of others years ago. A person like this could have rolled over and gone into a deep sleep, depriving herself and those around her of a vital energy. She could have become a vindictive bitter survivor, and who would blame her or any of the other victims of this particular global event.

But she didn't. She became involved in advocacy for other survivors of events like this, not only the 7/7 survivors. She took on the might of the authorities to get compensation. She travelled out of her country several times for much-needed medical treatment. She had to process the opinions of so-called experts who said she would never again be able to do what she loved most - ride a horse. She and others like her live with the mental, emotional and physical pain caused by others, but she has managed to rise above it, to go back to what she knows and loves best - her horses, her talents, her special gifts and her creativity.

I would love to be able to ride a horse so I could avail myself of the opportunity of having unique artwork in my home, capturing the spirit not only of the horse but of the artist who has known hell and has responded by giving us a shot at a piece of heaven.  Beverli extends her gifts to create unique artwork capturing the spirit of dogs and cats as well, as each is considered a precious companion to us in our daily lives and daily healing.

http://shaman-beverli-rhodes.blogspot.com/
animalcommuncatorartist@gmail.com

If enough of us took back our power and healed ourselves, it would have a positive impact on our broader community and others beyond the community.  And isn't that the kind of power we would all like to see rather than the power of the Ego or the power of disregarding broader sensitivities just because we are acting within the law?

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
Sunday 15 August 2010

A testimony of thriving ©
"Spirit of Your Horse" Art by Beverli Rhodes 

As we approach the 5th anniversary of the 7/7 London Bombings, the horrors of such an event might go unnoticed by countless people around the world. The same is true of other global events that are catastrophic, ugly, and devastating, whether it's a natural disaster like a tsunami that wrecks lives, or disasters that could have been prevented, perhaps, like the oil spill in the Gulf, or our propensity to be at war with others and promote the taking of life in order to preserve our own way of life and our commercial interests.

A global event, however devastating, might not touch us directly but when it does, it inevitably changes our lives. Some lives are broken beyond repair; others are shattered but are being glued back together one piece at a time. Either way, something changes and out of devastation and pain we can also see the resilience of our spirit, and our love of life regardless of what has been taken from us.

I've just stumbled upon another inspiring newsworthy event about one of the survivors of the 7/7 Bombings, Beverli Rhodes. Her life was one of the ones that was badly affected by the violent actions of others nearly 5 years ago. A person like this could have rolled over and gone into a deep sleep, depriving herself and those around her of a vital energy. She could have become a vindictive bitter survivor, and who would blame her or any of the other victims of this particular global event.

But she didn't. She became involved in advocacy for other survivors of events like this, not only the 7/7 survivors. She took on the might of the authorities to get compensation. She travelled out of her country several times for much-needed medical treatment. She had to process the opinions of so-called experts who said she would never again be able to do what she loved most - ride a horse. She and others like her live with the mental, emotional and physical pain caused by others, but she has managed to rise above it, to go back to what she knows and loves best - her horses, her talents, her special gifts and her creativity.

I would love to be able to ride a horse so I could avail myself of the opportunity of having unique artwork in my home, capturing the spirit not only of the horse but of the artist who has known hell and has responded by giving us a shot at a piece of heaven - "Spirit of Your Horse" art.

http://shaman-beverli-rhodes.blogspot.com/
SpiritofYourHorse@googlemail.com

Beba Papakyriakou
Saturday 3 July 2010
Published on thenewageblog Wednesday 7 July 2010

The events that change our lives ©

Some people's lives are changed in an instant through events that are tragic, events that maim, and disfigure; events that cause pain and destruction in other ways, events that leave people homeless, and without other resources and stability.

Our hearts go out to those people and when we also cast our minds to those in our more personal circle, events like those feel as though they touch our own lives as well.

The upcoming fifth anniversary of the 7/7 London Bombings is one such catastrophic event that changed the lives of thousands of people either in small ways or in big ways.  Some died, some were left disabled and disfigured; some lost loved ones, some lost their ability to earn an income, some have been left with psychological scars to match their physical scars. 

Life has a way of sending us events that can change our lives.

Today I'm again celebrating the anniversary of an event eighteen years ago that changed my life, fortunately for the better, and I remain humble and grateful.

This time last year I wrote about celebrating and remembering the good stuff in life, not only the bad stuff, and whilst it is important to remember the bad stuff and to honour what resulted from bad events, it is equally important to celebrate and remember all that is good and has had a good impact on us.

Most events have the power to create something new and different for our individual life experience however minute the impact might be.  Some events have the power to create a completely new improved version of ourselves, and that, in my view, is something to be cherished.  And celebrated.

This year I initially opted for something short and sweet to mark the occasion, but the writer in me got the better of me and I decided to do something a little more.

May the next 18 years bring more celebrations of varying intensity and specialness.

Beba Papakyriakou
30 June 2010

Eighteen years on 

And still, the one and only.

Beba Papakyriakou
30 June 2010 

What's a hero? ©

A hero doesn't necessarily need to be photographed or written about in the newspapers.

A hero doesn't need to be interviewed on TV or be recorded for posterity.

A heroic act doesn't need to be measured by other people's subjective interpretations.

A hero doesn't necessarily need to make a big noise, or expect huge applause, or endless gratitude.

A hero can do something heroic, something momentous, something that will save lives -  yet no-one will know what he did, or what it took to do it.  Or at most, a handful will know.

A hero is someone who does something heroic quietly, away from public eyes, away from public scrutiny.

A hero is someone who does something selfless, instantly, as a given.  And either seldom talks about it, or downplays it, or never discusses it.

That's a hero.  The one who does something, and then carries on with his life as a regular human being, knowing that he has touched a few lives anyway.  If thanked along the way, that's very special and always appreciated. 

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
8 June 2010
Published 14 June 2010 on thenewageblog.com
Published 21 June 2010 on Cultivate Life! Magazine http://www.nolimitsforme.com/zip-CLM/CL009.nglw.pdf.zip 

Engineering cooperation ©

What is cooperation, and how do we achieve it? 

The universe is certainly giving us plenty of opportunity to move from ego-based living where the Me, Myself, I was king, to a more cooperative global society.

America nearly disappeared into a big black hole and in the process began affecting most of the rest of the world. Greece is on the verge of bankruptcy, and whilst initially sought to go it alone and solve its own problems, it has needed to reach out to others to save itself from complete disaster.

The UK general election and all that went with it, has added to what has long been a global study in egos, delusions, sense of entitlement, swaying with each change in the wind, sticking to what "is the right thing for ....", and events and discussions that are showing people's personalities and motivations in technicolour. 

Not much of any of this is especially pretty. The causes behind these life-changing events are diverse, and some were perhaps preventable.  The effects of all these events are also diverse, and far-reaching.  Bad news in one part of the world has shown us that it can spread faster than we can blink, and take down half the rest of the world.

Those who have needed help have had to beg and agree to things they might not ever have wished for themselves.  Those in a position to help have used their power to help but also to make it so tough and so conditional.  And those who have been helped, still fuel the flames and are making things worse for themselves and others.

Okay, so, the state of the world at the moment is a bit scary, exciting, different, uncertain, unstable.  What has any of this to do with our own personal relationships with our families, partners, friends?

What all this has to do with us personally is this:  When we work from a place of separation, where it is every man for himself, where our ego is in charge, where we do not give an inch, where we will stick to our view or principle at all costs, where our arrogance directs our behaviours, we risk having personal relationships that will resemble the mess the world is in.

On the other hand, if we realize that we are all in fact connected in one way or another, we could all work towards a common good without necessarily surrendering our individuality.  A whole collection of individuals makes for an exciting experience, but in my view, the individual part of our lives needs to cooperate better with the whole of our lives.  And vice versa.

Out of the ashes of the current breakdown in virtually every area of every part of our lives, we might emerge somewhat in tact.  We might find continuity in systems that have weathered storms, whether the systems are family systems, government systems, financial systems.  But if we are to have any hope of thriving while on planet earth, we'd better hurry to find a way to cooperate for the greater good of all, before we become extinct.

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
07 May 2010
Published 07 May 2010 on thenewageblog.com
Published 08 May 2010 on all4women.co.za
Published June 2010 on spiritcrossing.org



 Volcanic ash - and seizing the moment©   

Seizing the moment is not a new concept but how many of us do it?

Nothing in life is guaranteed or certain.

Not even "death and taxes" ( from the line in the movie, Meet Joe Black)?  Not even death? 

Well, it depends on what one considers death - is it the end or the beginning, so we really die or do we just lose our present physical bodies while our soul, our essence, continues for eternity ...

I don't want to get into any heavily philosophical debates about life or death, but I do want to add my voice to the notion that we need to do our utmost to seize the moment, to live life to the fullest, every moment of the day, but without losing sight of living life with integrity, and personal responsibility and accountability.

Despite law of attraction, and positive thinking, and what vibrations we put out, the reality of life is that one moment we might be in a place of peace and security, joy and happiness, and in the next instant, someone might ignite a bomb that will kill hundreds, thousands, and our lives will have changed just like that. 

The same is true with natural events over which we may or may not have any control - look at the chaos that the Icelandic volcanic eruption has caused around the world; look at the chaos and destruction that the tsunamis have caused, and the recent earthquakes. 

The universe is roaring, the world has been spinning out of control, and regardless of the cause and who/what is to blame, the fact is that life can be like quicksand under our feet. 

Fine, it is like quicksand, so what can we do about it? 

What we can do is we can live our lives with respect, and with integrity

We can be more deliberate in our actions and in our thought processes.  We can opt for better communication and for kindness rather than violence through our words and our deeds. 

We can choose to infuse our lives with tolerance and generosity.  We can elect to savour every moment and find ways to feel gratitude, even if it means reframing a challenge. 

Life is tenuous

Not one of us knows what lies ahead, not even in the next millisecond, so let's seize the day, let's do our best to fulfill our dreams and live up to the promise of who we are. 

At the very least, let's make each moment count.

That's all we have and that's all we can do - bring quality of life to every moment, and the rest - well, what will be will be.

Beba Papakyriakou
Wed 21 April 2010
Published 21 April 2010 The New Age Blog
http://www.thenewageblog.com/volcanic-ash-seizing-moment/
Published 22 April 2010 All4Women (category Inspirational)
http://all4women.co.za/author/Beba/2010/4/&ct=ga&cad=7:1:0&cd=XILX9G8lV-E&usg=AFQjCNGcjUtx6O4uQ0SJtUNVQSZ0LrOYTw 

Do what's right - for you © 

Should you be altruistic, should you buy into the "me-first' movement, should you give away your personal power to everyone in all circumstances? Should you put your needs above everyone else's?

For every pearly word of wisdom about how to live a life that is fulfilling, personally satisfying, spiritual, and something to be proud of, there is another pearly word of wisdom suggesting the complete opposite. Put the family first, no put yourself first; put your company first, no put your own goals first, give way to someone in traffic, no take the gap yourself .....

Book shelves are groaning under the weight of tons of self-help books. What ever did we do before all these self-help ideas were even thought of, and before internet, and before focus groups, and before telesummits, and before emotion-freeing techniques!

The truth of the matter is that we just got on with life. We were guided by how we were raised, what we saw in our environment, what our family values were, and what we felt we wanted even if we didn't always get it.

Then we were liberated from the shackles of tradition and our past, and we all became independent beings, and independent thinkers, and women challenged men in the boardroom, and on the sports fields. We went from stay-at-home moms, to "house husbands". We went from a patriarchal society, with man the lord and master and sole bread winner, to two income households, and equal partnerships. We went from mother/father parental units to father/father parental units, to mother/mother parental units, and families that look a whole lot different to what they were 50 years ago.

Okay, so, what's any of this go to do with doing what's right for you? Well, it's probably one of the most empowering notions - be authentic to yourself and to your values. Forget about navigating your way through life by always doing "the right thing" and instead "do what's right" - for you.

Use your gut, use your head, use your values, use your compassion, lighten up, take responsibility, make a decision, and do what's right.

Who was it who said, "Follow your heart, and your head will become your ally". Great quote.

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
10 February 2010
Published on 11 February 2010 on all4women (Health)
Published on 11 February 2010 on The New Age Blog
http://www.thenewageblog.com/topic/life-coaching/do-what-is-right-for-you/

 

Ah, Valentines' Day © 

Yay, it's nearly Valentine's Day! This day is usually reserved for lovers; it's the day on which people in love say, "I love you" and exchange gushy poems, soft fluffy toys, chocolates, and red roses.  It is the day on which lovers go out for a romantic dinner, or some other special outing, and spend a lot of time being all warm and cuddly.  It is the day that we look in the post-box in the hope of finding a sexy card from a secret admirer, and it makes our toes tingle with excitement.

At the moment, shops are blissfully heaving under the weight of red and pink goodies, and hearts and pretty cards with Cupid and his arrow, all intended for the one we love.  Web sites are publishing articles about all things related to love, passion, and romance.  Restaurants are taking extraordinary bookings for Sunday 14^th, and they've stocked up on champagne and pink sparkling wine.

I generally love traditions like this. And I love buying special things for special people.  I love having special events and fabulous outings with someone I love.  I love sharing special moments with special people.

And with Valentine's Day only a few days away, half the planet is probably going to be doing the same with the other half J

But why do we generally get all warm and giddy over those we love only on Valentine's Day?  What's that about! What about the other 364 days of the year - think of how many more ways we can find to demonstrate our love - and appreciation - for someone if we do it every day and not only on Valentine's Day.

Yes I know, just how many soft fluffy toys can we handle, and how many chocolates, and how many plastic hearts and pink feathers. 

This is not what I mean by "demonstrating our love".  I mean truly demonstrate our love by caring, by being tolerant, by being generous, sincere, trustworthy; by being nurturing, considerate, kind, patient. 

We can demonstrate our love every day by being authentic, respectful, understanding, supportive, considerate, thoughtful.  We can demonstrate our love by overlooking the differences and enhancing the similarities, the values and all the good stuff, and by putting the other person first

Take all this divine, serious, hectic demonstration of love, throw in some heart-shaped chocolates and a pink soft fluffy toy, have some extraordinary fun, and you've got Valentine's Day every day.  How cool would that be!

And even cooler is that we can extend this authentic demonstration of love to all the people in our lives, not only those that make our toes tingle in the middle of the night.

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
Sunday 7 February 2010
Published 10 February 2010 on The New Age Blog as the Featured Post
http://www.thenewageblog.com/topic/dating-relationships/ah-valentines-day/

How you’ve grown © 

Humans are ever-changing beings and the key to personal growth and development is awareness.

My special, precious gorgeous girly.

BPx
Tuesday 8 December 2009



Just when you thought it was safe... © 

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water" an issue you
believed had been resolved, or was no longer an issue comes leaping
out of the depths of the pit of anger, pain, regret, frustration and misunderstanding, and you lash out at those closest.

Just when we thought we had found our groove in life, or with a person, or with a situation, something happens in the present, today, the now, and by way of responding to what it presents us, we find that our past suddenly comes straight into the present, and we deal with the current situation from a whole set of past emotions, situations, behaviours and actions.

We can't get away from this - we are all a product of our past, however far back the past might go, whether it's previous lifetimes, or a few years ago, or a few days ago, or just a few minutes ago.

But it's more than just the past and unresolved issues.  It's how we misdirect our pain and our frustrations, and who gets to bear the brunt of things.

Someone or something out there aggravates us or upsets us, and we lash out at someone else. We are frustrated about a situation, or something we have to do that we'd rather not, and we lash out at a loved one or someone not vaguely involved in that specific situation.

Someone of lesser importance does something or says something that pushes our buttons, and who bears the brunt of it?  Perhaps the only person in the world who would die for us, or the one who is providing infinite support.  What's that about!

Do we lash out in whichever way we do it because those closest will love us anyway and accept it?  Do we do it because for some bizarre reason we sometimes tend to treat our loved ones with less care and respect than we treat strangers?

Is it because we can "be ourselves" with those closest?  If "being ourselves" means allowing the nasty side of our personality to emerge, maybe we need to look very deeply within and sort that one out.

What is it about misdirecting our actions and not dealing with the real issue - is it because we are afraid to face up to what - or who - is actually bothering us, or upsetting us, or frustrating us, and we take an easier route to dealing with the problem by lashing out at someone else?

Who in the world doesn't have an issue of one sort or another!  The whole notion that we are in fact perfect (but that we have forgotten that) sets us up for disaster, I think.  Not one of us is perfect. Even the most "perfect" and evolved among us has an issue or two, and some lessons to work on.

We're all evolving from rough gem stones to polished versions thereof, but it seems that the process is endless.

Endless learning and endless progress and endless polishing could be great.  It gives us a whole lot of new experiences to go through and a whole lot of things to thrive for, but what we don't really need is to keep re-doing the same thing over and over again.  We don't need to keep re-writing the same exam over and over again, year after year after year.

So how do we experience a lesson, deal with it, and move on?  Maybe we need to go back to school days - we study, we write the exam, we pass it.  Then we're out of that class and move on to the next class and the next experience.

In the real world, we could do this if we became more conscious and more aware.  We could stop to look at why we do the things we do.  We could look at what actually is bothering us or frustrating us or upsetting us, and who is actually involved.

Then we could find a way to work on the issue or the situation, and write the exam by dealing with it through therapy or higher learning or meditation or whatever works for us.  We could communicate about it, discuss it, set the boundaries, and settle it. And then move on.

Great in theory, harder in practice.  But it is within our power to do all this - if we want to.  Ah.  That's the crux.

A lot of the time keeping the issue alive serves us.  It keeps us from facing up to ourselves and our situations.  It keeps us from risking and living life more fully.  It provides the perfect crutch and gives us license to continue lashing out instead of reaching out - reaching out to ourselves and sorting ourselves out; reaching out to those who love us and have loved and supported us, and appreciating what we have in them.

Let's try for less knee-jerk reacting, less haste, and more awareness, and ask ourselves that wonderful, empowering question that really clarifies things for us:  So, what DO we want?

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
22 August 2009
Submitted for publication to The New Age Blog 10 February 2010
http://www.thenewageblog.com/topic/life-coaching/just-when-you-though-it-was-safe/

Give, without expectation © 

When we give, whether it's of our time, our money, our affection, our knowledge, our help, anything, do we really ever give without expectation, even if it's just the expectation of something as mundane (and well-mannered) as a Thank You?

Hm.  Easy, difficult?

"Easy.  You just give".  Really?  Perhaps some people have mastered the art of giving without expecting anything in return, anything at all, not even a thank you.  I'm not one of those people, I'm afraid, and I know it is one of the things I have to learn in this lifetime.

So how does one master the art of giving without expectation?

Perhaps we need to question our intentions and motivation in giving in the first place.  Are we giving in order to be made to feel appreciated, indispensable, important?  Do we give because we have more than the person to whom we are giving, thereby perhaps falling into the category of "rescuer"? 

Do we give to show how much we have, how much we can do, how much better we are than the person receiving?  Do we give out of guilt for any number of reasons, some of which are probably not even personal, or real? 

Or do we give purely, absolutely out of love and generosity, and a genuine desire to share the wealth in all its forms?

What about a deeper, more spiritual take on this: Once we give, the moment it leaves our hands, our hearts, our wallets, our mouths, it no longer belongs to us, and instead it has passed into the realm of the universe, where we are all interconnected anyway, we are one, so even expecting a "thank you" is superfluous and a bit daft - do you thank yourself for something you did for yourself?

Or is it that giving needs to be done entirely without attachment to anything, neither the giving and the giver, nor the taking and the taker - it is an act like any other, like scratching your nose.  Ah, but even in that act there is an expectation - I scratch my nose and I expect it to stop itching. 

I don't know how we would ever evolve to a point where we give without any expectation of anything at all in return, even if what we get in return is totally disproportionate to what we gave, or not received from the same person to whom we gave, or not in the same time frame.

If everyone just gave, for whatever reason, each of us would always receive - at the very least we would receive an acknowledgement that what we gave, whatever it was, was received.  Whether it was useful, or appreciated, or life changing, or timely would then take on a less important role.  Just acknowledge that XYZ was received, seen, read, that's all.

This also sends a vital message to the universe - we are centred in gratitude, grateful for whatever we receive, which usually opens us up to more.

We all want to be valued in some way, we all want our existence to be acknowledged in some way, I think. 

As that brilliant line from the movie, Shall we Dance, says, "We need a witness to our lives.  There's (sic) a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? .... You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'." 

The Susan Sarandon character was specifically referring to marriage, but we could apply this respectful, caring view to all our interactions, couldn't we?

And be generous in our thanks and acknowledgement for the other's time, love, money, attention, thoughtfulness, help.

Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
15 August 2009
Original version published 18 August 2009 on international web site Oralin.com
http://bit.ly1vma9d/
Published 15 December 2009 on all4women.co.za (Relationships)
Published 10 February 2010 on The New Age Blog
http://www.thenewageblog.com/topic/life-coaching/giving-without-expectation/

So much about the world today seems to have become superficial and with almost no concern for detail or great thought.  We want everything swiftly.

Our written communication has been reduced to combinations of letters and numbers, instead of words and complete sentences.  Technology allows us to view movies and videos in a flash, on mobile phones or portable computer screens, and if the movie or video takes longer than 10 seconds to start, we become impatient.

Internet is becoming ever faster, and ever more efficient, and if the status bar at the base of our computer screen looks like it isn't moving fast enough, we start grinding our teeth and pounding our fists.

My little visitor had left its mark on the calendar on my desk.  And on which part of the calendar did it leave its mark?  Would you believe, stradling 16 & 17 August - the hours before my little girly was given to me and the actual day she arrived in my life.

And the second place it left its mark is on the other side of the office right in front of the photograph of me with the two-legged love of my life who gave me Nanuk all those years ago.

Am I trying to find dots to connect?  No, I don't think so. 

It would have been Nanuk's birthday today.  

A bird chose this day to come into my home, walk all the way to the office, and spend most of its visit in the office, no other room.  The office is where Nanuk spent her first hour with us (me and the two-legged love of my life) the night she was given to me, and where she spent most of the rest of her years, on the sleeper couch, keeping me company.  The office is also where she spent her last moments in our home 17 hours or so before she went across.

And the bird left its mark on the exact time frame in which Nanuk came into my life in 1996, and also right in front of a photograph of the person who gave her to me.  Nowhere else J

There was no need to search for dots and try to connect them  - they're there and connected, which is very comforting. 

BP
Saturday 11 July 2009
"Untweaked" version published on an international website Oralin
http://www.oralin.com/experience135.phtml 
 

Tuesday 30 June© 

Tuesday 30 June 1992, 4pm.  I remember the day, the meeting, the event in minute detail.  It was the day that changed my life completely, and then nothing could ever go back to what it was.  And it was the day that changed many other lives too, one in particular, a life that hadn’t had this kind of experience ever before.  And hasn’t had it since, I don’t think.

The event set me on a whole other path, a path of immense learning, a path of diversity, a path of tolerance, acceptance and understanding.  I am confident it did similar things for The Other’s path.

Nothing on earth before 30 June 1992 had prepared me for this.  Nothing.  Its impact is indelible, often indescribable, sometimes not talked about, and frequently surreal J

Has the path to date been filled with wine and roses, and happy memories only?  No.  Has it been rich, with extraordinary depth of meaning?  Yep.  Would I do it again in the same way if I had the chance?  No.  I’d do better, I’d control less, I'd do more, I’d live much more, I’d allow much more. But I did the best with what I had and what I knew at the time. Would I re-live that era?  You bet. In a heartbeat.

Why the continuing observance of this date, this ongoing experience?  Well, I look at it this way: The world observes anniversaries of all the horrors that occur in life.  The world will not forget the worst nightmares, or the deaths, or the destruction. The world seems happier and more inclined to observe the bad stuff, and perpetuate it, but seems less inclined to celebrate the good stuff.  And perpetuate that.

I have chosen to celebrate the good stuff, and I celebrate this particular day on my own every year with enormous gratitude and humility.  I am fully aware that not everyone has had this once-in-a-lifetime experience, incomplete and unfinished though the journey might still be.  The annual celebration is part of the special connection, and if one finds oneself in a happy, healthy frame of mind about something, that in itself is recompense.  It might not be a substitute for actually living the ongoing event itself, but it's a blessing nonetheless.

Where to from here? Hopefully coffee and cake later J

Later: Had coffee, had cake; same (revamped) place, same (revamped) table; different time, different era; similar feeling ................

BP
Tuesday 30 June 2009, 00h45



Holding onto the promise ©

My precious girly Nanuk, given to me with great love on Saturday 17 August 1996 in the evening.

She was the reincarnation of my special boy, Bobo. She was pitch black when I got her and after living with me for two months she turned grey, the poor thing :)

She lived in love, and shared her love, her light, her joy and her happiness with all of us.

She blessed our lives, and honoured us with her presence, her amazing grey colouring, and her wonderful energy. And her gorgeous little "girly" walk.

She crossed over at 02h15 Wednesday 10 December 2008 in the loving home of her special doctor, in his care and with his extraordinary display of affection and unparalleled loving kindness.

And our American boy, Casper, crossed over a month ago. The cousins are together, and I am sure they are playing with Bobo, Ziggy and Koukla, and the doggy friendies of the same era - Gigi and Minky - all of them precious four-legged gifts of unconditional love. 

Our hearts are broken and life is not the same as it was yesterday but we will always be touched by the blessings of having had Nanuk - and the others - in our lives, and the memories that are most precious.

We will always remember Nanuk - and the others - as they are now, still happy, still beautiful and still very much loved little souls. 

The four-legged love of my life touched my life in unimaginable and unforgettable ways. 

Pain passes, in time, apparently, and love endures.

BP (and family)
Wednesday 10 December 2008

My little girl is irreplaceable
 because of who she was,
how she was given to me,
and how she left me (but only on the earth plane),
and because of every precious moment in between.

BP
Thursday 5 February 2009

******************

On this day, ten years ago I last looked into those beautiful warm eyes.

On this day, 10 years ago tears flowed because of what the immediate future held for us.

So many things have changed in 10 years.  So many things have changed.  Except one: The perpetual wish to be able to turn back the clock to the instant I looked into those beautiful eyes, and to the special times that came before.

But the clock only goes in one direction: forward. Still, no changes, no geographical distance, nothing can take away the rich memories. And perhaps faith can help keep the hope alive for other, richer memories to come.

Why wait until it is someone's birthday or a special anniversary to put into words what your heart feels every day.

Every moment is a new year, a new life, a new beginning.  Every moment is an opportunity to soar as high as you can dream, to experience abundant feelings to the depths of your core.  Every moment is a moment to bless that which you want, to focus on the promise, to trust, to let go, and to move towards what you want for yourself and for the greater good of everyone concerned.

BP 01 January 2008



Be bold ©

Be bold in your thinking.  Be brave in your actions.
Keep your motives in integrity.  Do things from your heart.
And the universe will respond at the perfect time, in the perfect way.

BP 10 August 2007



Acknowledging 7/7©

Acknowledging with love and respect some of those directly affected by the 7/7 London Bombings. 

No-one can know precisely how or what each of them felt. 

No-one can know precisely how they survived their ordeal and how they have navigated their way through life since then.

No-one can fully relate to their pain, to their waking hours or to their sleeping hours.

But what we can do is envelop them in our thoughts, our love, and our light to make their journey a little easier, and we can use the opportunity to remember the words of Auden, "If you want to live, you'd better start at once to try".

BP 7 July 2007

Allow time to show you things through different eyes, ones filled with a sense of knowing.

Allow time to put you in someone else’s shoes – and see what choices you would have made.

Allow time to help you let go of judgements, misunderstandings, and insincerity.

It's astonishing. When there's a strong bond, fused in the realms that aren't subject to ego and earthly dramas, one tiny little bit of contact can wash away all the emptiness and all the longing. When there is a soul connection, the smallest fragment of a sweet voice, a gentle touch, a brief glimpse of the other's face can make the world seem less dark, less heavy, less hopeless.

To be separated in the physical realm from someone who is most assuredly one's other half, can be one of the cruellest, most difficult things to bear. There is no question, in my experience at least, that the absence of one's true and real other soul, twin soul, twin flame (whatever the term best describes this connection) leads to relentless feelings of stagnation, despair, emptiness. Nothing at all can fill the void. Nothing. Not work, not recreation, not friends, not dancing through cosmos and heather with one's hair flying in the air :) The void can be so deep, so black, so stifling, that normal breathing becomes difficult. The void eats at the soul, at the dreams, at the hopes, at the very fibre of one's being.

And then, a respite, one fragment of a beloved's voice, and the sun comes out from behind the clouds, the rain stops, the void is filled. Life becomes worthwhile again.

Astonishing isn't it.

Written by BP 26 March 2007
Published on an international e-zine (Zalome) 31 March 2007

Life's Riches© 

Life's riches are not to be found only in a beautiful flower
On the face of an angelic child
In a magnificent sunset
Or a glorious shoreline.

Life's riches are not to be found only when stroking a much-loved pet
Spending time with family and friends
Sharing a special, intimate moment
Or when dreams have come true.

Life's riches are not to be found only in a delicious meal
When hearing an amazing song
A divine slice of cake
Or in a stunning new car in front of a stunning new home.

Life's riches are not to be found only in a starry night
A peaceful dream
A fabulous live show
Or a flawless vacation.

Life's riches are not to be found only in perfect weather
Minimal traffic, short queues, polite waitresses, sweet fruit, Belgian chocolate, French champagne, a magical painting,
a sublime experience, or lots of money.

Life's riches are to be found in the tests we invite
The lonely nights we endure
Saving up for something
And separation from a loved one, wondering what's next.

Life's riches are to be found at the sick bed of a loved one
Giving space to someone who needs it
Understanding the difficult moments, past and present
And forgiving the heartaches.

Life's riches are to be found in lending a hand to someone
Giving up a few pleasures to get the job done
Ruining the nails, getting the clothes dirty, feeling back pain
And in crawling into bed, tired.

Life's riches are to be found when attending a funeral
Getting a less-than-desired decision
Hearing the bad news about something
And not being able to do anything except be there.

Life's riches are to be found in the soul searching for a purpose
Accepting that rough stuff is part of the plan
Overcoming the obstacles and the pain, and being able to thrive
And most of all, perhaps, life's riches are to be found in practising unconditional love.

BP for BR 30 June 2002
Published on 3 international e-zines on 26 September 2002, 15 October 2002, and 5 July 2002 (the latter under the title The Richness of Life) 

It's the little things ©

Personal perspective - Releasing Negativity©

Unconditional love. What does loving unconditionally mean?

That we will love another, irrespective of his or her behaviour,
assuming we have learnt to separate the person from the behaviour? In theory, that's a wonderful ideal but how often does it work in practice.

Perhaps a parent/child relationship generally works that way. But what about the rest of our relationships?

Generally we tend to love a spouse/partner, "unconditionally", until he/she does something bad: Would you still love your spouse/partner, unconditionally, if he/she began physically abusing you, or cheating on you for example? Perhaps not.

Nearly a decade ago, someone came into my life who very definitely taught me about unconditional love. I had to learn about what I believed was unconditional love – loving, no matter what - in order to have her in my space, otherwise with every hurtful, destructive behaviour I would have moved out of her space, further and further, until such time as I was nowhere to be found.

And all these years I've believed that I was somehow blessed and divinely guided, and that I knew what compassion and unconditional love was all about, and that this is clearly what I felt, experienced and demonstrated to this person.

But a few moments ago, I had what I believe is for me a "light bulb" moment.

For the first time in nearly a decade in this relationship, I was finally able (constructively, I hope) to mention some things about certain behaviours which had caused me the full gamut of "negative" emotions – anger, pain, hurt, anxiety, resentment, distress, hopelessness. I believe I tackled the situation with calm, love, compassion, decency, and emotional maturity.

And virtually from the moment I did this, I felt an immediate sense of unbelievable peace. But more than that, I had such a rush of strong positive feelings for this woman – the strongest ever. I felt as though I was walking on air, my head in the clouds, kind of like winning a few million dollars, I guess.

And I believe that at the core of this feeling and this high is a sense of unconditional love, in this case coming directly from my having been able to release negativity.

How do I make this huge leap from releasing negativity to feelings of peace and unconditional love? All these years, I've believed loving unconditionally meant that one loves another, no matter what the other does, and without asking or expecting that he/she change. But what if he/she does do something awful, or does change as a person to something we can't relate to? Do we still love unconditionally?

My "light bulb" moment showed me something very clearly: It isn't about the other person. It isn't about what he/she does. It is about how we feel inside. All these years, clearly I was stuck. I think those negative feelings were blocking me from something very precious: being able to feel unconditional love for this person because it wasn't about her behaviour. It was about how I felt inside.

I am of course not saying that people should therefore lash out, and be violent and aggressive, so that they too can release negativity and have immediate strong feelings of love. Definitely not. But taking responsibility for all our feelings – positive and negative – and all our actions – positive and negative – and treating our most important relationships with love and compassion, might help us to raise our consciousness and have more meaningful interactions with people.

This is a personal story and might not apply to every relationship, but it was such an amazing realisation for me, that I felt I wanted to share it.

BP (BA, Hons BA Psychology) 10.2.2002.
Published on international web sites: 2 June 2003 Oralin.com, and 11 September 2007 on Trans4Mind.com (Selected by Peter Shepherd from House of Bee Sting collection)



Work of other writers

Ithaca 

Ithaca is a greek island generally identified as the home of Odysseus, whose delayed return to the island is the subject of Homer's the Odyssey.

As you set out for Ithaca
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - don't be afraid of them:
you' ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon - you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbours you're seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind -
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaca always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you're destined for.
But don't hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you're old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca to make you rich.

Ithaca gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you'll have understood by then this is the meaning of Ithaca.

K. Kavafis, (Greek Κωνσταντίνος Π. Καβάφης) (April 29, 1863 - April 29, 1933)
Posted on Paulo Coelho's Blog Sunday 8 November 2009 

I am fear.  I am the menace that lurks in the paths of life, 

Broken Dreams

(W H Auden, April 1936)                                                                                               
Thanks to Kendal A Smith 10 May 1995

*This was read during one of the final scenes in the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral"

All I need to know about life I learned from my Guardian Angel

Know all the possibilities of your impossible dream.  Leave space in your relationships so you’ll have lots of room to play.  Be yourself.  Forgive, forget and forge ahead.  It’s easier to fly when you take yourself lightly. Reach out and touch someone lightly with your wing.

Love is the only four letter word you need to know. Whenever you hear a bell, another angel has earned her wings. It’s okay to cry during sad movies. Don’t postpone joy to scrub the bathroom or clean the garage.  Love mother earth. 

Whenever you feel afraid, get a new box of crayons. Carry a spare set of wings in your pocket. Wherever you go, that is where you will be. Spread your wings and fly.

Yes I know that I can’t really see the breadth and depth of this dark valley you’re in.  I can’t really know just how sharp the knife is in your soul.  For it is you in its path, not me.

But I have known other valleys and in my heart still bear knife wounds and scars.  Even so, I would walk your road and take your pain, if I could, but I cannot.  And yet perhaps in some way I can be a hand to hold in the darkness, in some way try to blunt the sharpness of pain. But if not, it may help a little just to know I care.

(Author unknown)
Thanks to special friend BR July 1993

 

 

* Unless otherwise stated, the articles, stories and personal perspectives written by this author have not been submitted for publication.

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